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A public area on campus. Sierra enters. She is the Big Man on Campus (Big Woman on Campus?). An appropriate song plays while she enters, slow-motion, looking totally fine. Everyone turns in slow-motion to gaze at her awesomeness.

Emily enters, hurries to catch up with her.

Emily: Oh! Sierra! Hey! I remember you said the other day you asked if I could help you study for the midterm. Is there a time that’s good for you?

As Emily speaks, she is walking too fast for Sierra’s sexy-hott walk. She keeps having to double back to rejoin Sierra. Sierra tolerates it, because having a spaz like Emily makes her look all the more attractive.

Sierra: Whenever.
Emily: Oh! So how is Wednesday for you?
Sierra: I have Future Educators of America that night.
Emily: Oh. So how’s Thursday then?
Sierra: My Chinese Cultural Exchange is Thursday. You should come.
Emily: Well obviously not Friday, but maybe Saturday during the day?
Sierra: I’m running a flash mob at the local mall.
Emily: Sunday?
Sierra: I’m Catholic.
Emily: I would not have guessed. Well the midterm is Monday morning, so, when is a good time for you to study?
Sierra: Whenever.
Emily: Clearly Whenever is not going to work for you.

Sierra stops to confront her.

Sierra: You’re throwing off the vibe.
Emily: The vibe? The slow walk?
Sierra: Yes.
Emily: You threw off my groove! I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the Emperor’s groove. Sorrrryyyyyyy….

Sierra gives her a calculating look.

Emily: Emperor’s New Groove? The greatest animated buddy comedy and don’t even tell me The Road to El Dorado could rival it. Okay maybe it could. The important thing is, do you still need help studying for the midterm or don’t you?
Sierra: I do, but tell me, do you like pokemon?
Emily: It’s a thing.
Sierra: You’re a nerd, aren’t you? I know this guy, he’s a total nerd too.
Emily: What’s he like?
Sierra: He likes pokemon and comic books.
Emily: Okay, but is he nice? Funny? Good-looking?
Sierra: I don’t know, he’s a nerd.
Emily: You’re kind of a bitch, aren’t you?

No one has ever called Sierra a bitch to her face before.

Emily: Have fun on your mid-term, okay?


Listen, I have absolutely no idea what to do with this dialogue. Where it would go. What purpose it would serve. But it flows. It might make Sierra seem more important than she is? Or maybe make Emily seem less confident than she…maybe it would make Emily seem like a bigger character, less auxiliary. Or maybe Emily should just be an auxiliary character. Maybe I’m working myself up over nothing. Maybe I should cut a lot of the subplots and just stick with the Maggie/Pizza Boy/Valedictorian thing. I don’t know. I can’t decide, and I’m frozen over indecision over this.

Plus, like, Emily calls Sierra a bitch and that’s kind of a bad word and I did intend this play to be for children.


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