28: You know what? Look at all these Ill Girls, dispensing wisdom and such. I was an Ill Girl. I wonder if being that sick makes you as wise as they show in the movies. I’m going to go find out.
She goes to 8’s bedroom
28: Hey there. I’m you from the future.
8: Why is your hair red?
28: Because you decided that you look cuter with red hair.
8: When do I do that?
28: Oh, after you shave your head.
8: Why do I do that?
28: Because your head is so hot just all the time. It’s itchy. And it’s just, it’s so hot, and it hurts.
8: You’re right! Sometimes all I want to do is just shake my head back and forth but it hurts so much.
28: Don’t worry. Soon Mom and Dad will find you a good doctor, and that doctor will make you all better. But for now, since you’re sick, you’re much wiser than healthy people.
8: I am?
28: Yeah, like, Beth in Little Women, or Eva St. Clare in Uncle Tom’s Cabin, or, like, lots of movies.
8: But in The Secret Garden, Colin was a brat, he wasn’t smart.
28: You’re right. Maybe it’s just girls. Hmm. Right, so I’m going to ask you some questions. You can answer them however you want. Just whatever comes off the top of your head. Alright?
28: What is the meaning of life?
28: What is the meaning of life?
28: Anything. Anything at all. Okay, let’s go back to that one. Okay, how many road must a man walk down — that is a stupid question.
8: That’s a rhetorical question.
28: How…how do you know what a rhetorical question is, you’re eight.
8: Because I’m smart.
28: Like I said, that one is a stupid question. Okay, let’s go to the next one. When does life begin?
8: Life began four and a half billion years ago, when the earth cooled enough and amino acids started forming single-cell creatures.
28: Okay, wow, you aced that science test.
8: Hair is made of protein.
28: Yes, but, that’s not what the question is. Not when did life begin. When does life begin. You see, okay, Mom told you all about how babies are made. So the question is, when does the fetus become a baby, like, a living baby.
8: I was born premature.
28: Yeah, that caused a lot of your problems early in life. But like, at five weeks early, you could survive out of the womb. When is the earliest we can take the baby out of the mom and not be like, this is just a clump of cells, this can die.
8: I just finished reading the Giver and Mom says that Jonas and Gabe die at the end.
28: What do you think?
8: I don’t want them to die.
28: Well if it makes you feel better than they didn’t die. There’s some books that get published later. Jonas becomes the wise leader of a successful colony where everyone is free and he marries an awesome girl and Gabriel…
8: What happens to Gabriel? Does he die?
28: He becomes a very important messenger for the village. He’s very happy.
8: Does he die?
28: He uh. Yeah. He dies. It’s a stupid book though, I like to pretend it didn’t happen. You know what, let’s go back to — what’s the meaning of life?
8: But why does he die?
28: He sacrifices himself to cleanse the forest of the devil’s influence.
28: I know, like, the theme of the first two books what totally that evil came from within. Introducing a devil character was so stupid.
8: But why does Gabe die?
28: Here’s a question, if there is no God, why are sunsets so beautiful?
8 bursts into tears
28: She didn’t answer any of my questions.