I got a hair cut, can you tell?
(no, no you cannot)
I made an appointment for today with my usual hair stylist. I always get my hair dyed. My roots are really bad – more than an inch long at this point. And I said I wanted an appointment with Larissa, the usual thing. They said, “You’re going to want your hair cut, right?”
“Yes,” I said, because this was a hair cutting place after all. But it was just the usual thing. I said that. I’m 90% certain that I said that I wanted my hair dyed as well. But they emphasized the hair cut.
I only got a hair cut. Nowhere in the appointment did it say anything about getting my hair dyed. My hair looks like shit. I paid $60 to get my hair to look exactly as shit as it did before.
“Where is your part?” asked this woman who has been cutting my hair every other month for the past two years. “Is it in the middle?”
“No,” I said. “It’s on the left.”
As I have said every two months for the last two years.
“How often do you wash your hair?” asked the woman who has been taking care of my hair for two years.
“I never wash my hair,” I said.
“No,” I said. “I condition my hair.”
“But when do you wash your hair?”
“Never,” I said. “Curly hair is too dry and fine, it doesn’t need shampoo.”
“What do you do about your scalp?”
“I scratch it thoroughly every morning.”
She yanked my wet hair as straight as it would go, and then cut angles into it. I’m sure it would look very nice if my hair kept the same shape when it was dry. It frames the face. But it would not keep the same shape. All it would do was shorten my front curls even more.
She put some sort of weird gel in my hair. “It puts your curls into a sort of shell,” she said. “It’s supposed to reduce the frizz. It’s anti-humidity.”
“What do you think?”
“They’re very defined,” I said.
“Your curls are naturally very beautiful,” she said.
I rinsed it out as soon as I got home. I have fluffy, natural ringlets. Not crispy waves.
She called me as I was driving home. “Next time you come in, I need you to straighten your hair,” she said.
Next time I see her is the end of July. She doesn’t have any time available before then.