Archive for the ‘Brooke’ Tag

An alternative reason for Emily to get mad at Maggie without having to introduce a subplot   Leave a comment

Somewhere on campus, I don’t know. Emily is walking with some scruffy-looking nerf herder. She is wearing a birthday tiara and possibly some other birthday-related accouterments. (no, not a birthday suit)

Maggie enters from the opposite direction. She is still dressed as Pizza Girl and is looking distracted.

Emily: Maggie! Maggie, oh thank goodness.
Maggie: Oh, good.
Emily: I was worried you wouldn’t show up! You weren’t in class at all for the final. I thought something had happened.
Maggie: Oh…no, everything is alright.
Emily: Okay good. We can hang out now! I can ditch this guy. (whispers) He’s a redditor.
That Guy: You’re so lucky to be a girl. You can just pretend to be into nerdy things and then guys will just flock to you. You don’t even have to be invested in things like I have to. I have to pretend to not be a nerd. It must be really validating.
Emily: Ew.
Maggie: Gross.

They walk away.

Maggie: How do you find these people?
Emily: He’s friends with my math tutor.
Maggie: You have a math tutor?
Emily: Yeah, for like weeks. The only way I’m going to get into grad school is if I have a 3.5 or better!
Maggie: You’re going to grad school?
Emily: Yes?

Maggie stares at Emily. Emily poses, clearly trying to get Maggie to notice the birthday attire.

Maggie: Oh, that reminds me.
Emily: Yes?
Maggie: Am I…self-centered? Am I bad about noticing other people’s feelings?

Brooke enters hereabouts.

Emily: What?
Maggie: I teamed up briefly with another superhero today, and then I caught the bad guy so she got mad because we couldn’t share credit. It just makes me wonder if I’m bad at thinking about other people. I know I save people all the time, but do I really care about people?
Emily: Yes. Yes you really are an idiot.
Maggie: Oh!
Emily: Oh?
Maggie: That was blunt.
Emily: It’s my birthday!
Maggie: Oh! Happy birthday.
Emily: I don’t normally dress like this. This isn’t how normal people dress.
Maggie: I don’t really pay attention to…
Emily: You don’t pay attention to anything! You’re just so caught up in this new job of yours, you don’t care about anything! You don’t care about me! It’s all Maggie!
Maggie: Well to be fair everything that you say kind of runs together. It’s either tumblr this or Heat Shield that.
Emily: Oh well excuse me for having outside interests! At least I have the courtesy to say “how are you”! But no, with you it’s just blah blah blah, linguistics linguistics pizza pizza.
Maggie: At least I’m doing something with my life instead of sitting in front of a computer watching other people do things!

Emily turns and runs away

Maggie: Emily — wait! No! I’m sorry! I ruined your birthday!
Emily: Are you going to make this all about you too?

Emily exits. Maggie exits. Brooke giggles and exits.

Posted August 6, 2015 by agentksilver in writing

Tagged with , , ,

Final Scene   Leave a comment

Valedictorian and Brooke enter, from opposite sides.

Brooke: Valedictorian!
Valedictorian: Ah, look, the Undead Queen.
Brooke: It’s Prosperina! Where’s your minion, you bully?
Valedictorian: He’s my boyfriend, and he’s been taken. I need assistance. I believe you offered? Is the offer still standing?
Brooke: No! You’re weak! I can take you! And then I’ll be the hero!
Valedictorian: Pizza Girl will still be the hero. You’ll just be the afterthought. As always. But there’s always room for one more villain.

A beat, as Brooke considers.

Brooke (shouting): Help! Help! Someone save me!
Valedictorian: What are you doing?
Brooke: Help! I’m being attacked! I’m right over here! Someone come save me!

Valedictorian attacks her, but Brooke easily fends her off.

Brooke: Help! Help me! Help!
Maggie and Emily enter. Maggie grabs Valedictorian from behind, pinning her arms. Valedictorian screams and kicks her legs. When she stops, Emily grabs her feet.

Maggie: Hey, Proserpina –
Emily: Brooke –
Maggie: Are you okay?
Brooke: I’m good.
Maggie: Okay.
Emily: What now? Do we hand her over to the police?
Maggie: No, she always manages to get her away somehow. Let’s bring her into custody ourselves, and make sure she doesn’t get away this time.

They start exiting.

Emily: I’m sorry I brought a strange guy over without your permission.
Maggie: I’m sorry I cause so much trouble.
Emily: Nah, it’s fun. You’re my sister.
Maggie: Sister from another mister.
Emily: Sister from another hyster!
Maggie: Hah!

They exit.

Brooke has watched them go. She smiles.

Brooke: I’m so good. I’m the best. One hero and one villain. One town. And now that the Valedictorian is out of the way…no one is going to stop me.

Pizza Boy and Maggie: Rewritten team-up   Leave a comment

Lady: Your delivery driver uniforms have changed dramatically.
Manager: No, she’s not there yet. No! That’s girl can’t help you! Don’t-

But the Lady hangs up on the Manager.

Brooke: I heard you talking on the phone about your purse being stolen. Who did it?
Lady: I’m not sure. It was a guy with a lobster on his shirt, and-
Brooke: And a girl wearing a graduation gown?
Lady: Yes.
Brooke: Robster and the Valedictorian! My arch-nemeses. They’re the reason I got into this business, you know. No one every listens or cares about your problems, even when your purse is stolen and you have to go through all the trouble of canceling your credit cards and finding new cash, and you never get that cash back, you know? But everyone is too caught up in their own problems to care about how your day is absolutely ruined.
Lady: Yes, and…
Brooke: But I will listen. I will…what’s that line?
Lady: The line?

Maggie enters, dressed as the Pizza Girl, carrying the Random Lady’s purse.

Brooke: The line from that movie. The bad one. Anyway, I’m going after the Valedictorian.
Lady: I’m going to complain to your manager.
Maggie: Excuse me, ma’am? Did you order a pizza?
Lady: Oh, yes!
Maggie: Hi, I’m the Pizza Girl. I’m new. Is this your purse?
Lady (taking the purse): Yes it is! Oh, you found it!
Maggie: I found the wallet as well, but unfortunately they took all the important things. Credit cards, cash. (takes a business card out of her pocket — or a pizza box?) Here, just in case you don’t have the numbers on-hand, here are all the customer service numbers for all the major credit card companies. Are you feeling alright?
Lady: Yes, I’m fine. Why? Do I look bad?
Maggie: No, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I can walk you to your destination if you need.
Lady: No, no, I – look, they didn’t take my car keys! I should be fine. Thank you so much.
Maggie: I know how you feel. I’ve been in…a similar situation before. You can feel free to call our phone number if you ever feel uncertain. I’ve only been doing this job for two days, and most of my jobs have been escorting people home.
Lady: I feel better already. Thank you so much (reads her nametag) Maggie.
Maggie: You have a good day, ma’am.
Lady: You too. Thank you!

Lady exits.

Maggie: Hey, Proserpina.
Brooke: Prosperina! Queen of the Underworld.
Maggie: I thought it was Proserpina.
Brooke: Maybe in Greek, but in Rome, it’s Prosperina.
Maggie (who is correct): Oh.
Brooke: So. You must be the new girl. Pizza Girl.
Maggie: Yeah, that’s me. This is my third day on the job. I’m still pretty new at this.
Brooke: Alright, Maggie! You and me, we’ll track down the Valedictorian and Robster together!
Maggie: What, why?
Brooke: Okay! Where did you leave the Valedictorian and Robster tied up?
Maggie: Who?
Brooke: The purse thieves. You captured them, right? You didn’t capture them?
Maggie: No, they were long gone. I found the purse in an alleyway.
Brooke: It’s like my mother always said: a job half-done is not done at all.
Maggie: She got her purse back, and she’ll be able to notify the credit card companies right away that her card was stolen. Not too much damage done.
Brooke: This isn’t about damage control. We’re superheroes. We’re the Good Guys. We’re not reactive. We’re proactive.
Maggie: Do you know where they went?
Brooke: No. That’s why we track them! We’ll start by looking in the place where you found the purse and then fan out from there.
Maggie: I…I wasn’t trained for this.
Brooke: Come on!
Maggie: I don’t see any reason why not.

We are taking full advantage of the space we have and they continue this conversation into the audience, looking around.

Maggie: So this is where I found the purse.

There is trash there.

Brooke: Ewwww.
Maggie: Yeah, he tried to hide it among the trash.
Brooke: Why did you look there?
Maggie: My purse was stolen when I was visiting Baltimore Harbor a few years back, we found it in a dumpster right next to the parking lot. I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to look here before checking in with the customer.
Brooke: The victim!
Maggie: The person. Who took the purse, by the way? Did you ask?
Brooke: The Valedictorian and Robster.
Maggie: Oh. Why were they stealing purses?
Brooke: It’s what they do!
Maggie: I thought they were into kidnapping?
Brooke: They’ve stolen my purse dozens of times.
Maggie: Really? Dozens?
Brooke: Yes!

She is not exaggerating.

Maggie: Wow.
Brooke: I thought that I should fight back against those bullies. That’s the only way they’ll stop.
Maggie: So I’ve heard. There’s two directions to go though. I’m thinking don’t split the party, so which way do you think they went?
Brooke: That way is a Best Buy and that way is a Burgers Down Under…why don’t you go that way (indicates the direction towards Burgers Down Under) and I’ll go that way (towards the Best Buy). That way we can cover more ground in less time.
Maggie: Okay.

They turn away and both giggle.

Brooke: They must have gone to Best Buy to buy expensive things with their stolen credit card! I’ll catch them by myself, and then everyone will know I’m the best superhero!
Maggie: I can get lunch while pretending to do serious superhero work! Oh no, I’m sorry, Proserpina, they weren’t anywhere to be found in the restaurant! I checked thoroughly. I think I’ll get curly fries.

Pizza Boy and Maggie: A team-up of less-epic-than-expected proportions   Leave a comment

[Note: this scene is directly after the death of Pizza Boy]

A random street. Valedictorian and Robster are walking around, looking no worse for the wear.

Valedictorian: With the Pizza Boy gone, we can proceed with our plans unencumbered. I can run Amok!
Robster: We can run amok.
Valedictorian: No, I can. (Holds out a USB stick) Amok is the virus I’ve developed to target the personal information of everyone on Facebook.
Robster: Why?
Valedictorian: Why not?
Robster: It’s brilliant.
Valedictorian: Thank you, Robert.

Robster kisses her.

Valedictorian: Now, to find an anonymous internet source to upload our deadly virus.
Robster: There’s an internet cafe.
Valedictorian: No, they take your information.
Robster: There’s a Best Buy.
Valedictorian: They would notice if broke their computer restrictions.
Robster: There’s a McDonald’s.
Valedictorian: Brilliant! All we need is a laptop.
Robster: Where’s yours?
Valedictorian: I use a desktop.
Robster: But there’s no tower.
Valedictorian: It’s all in the monitor. Very fancy.
Robster: Yeah, but can’t bring a monitor into a McDonald’s, that would look ridiculous.

A Random Lady enters carrying a purse and talking on her phone.

Lady: The oxford comma is a crucial element to making your point clear, Miranda. The comma’s placement is an indicator–

Robster steals the purse.

Valedictorian: We run amok!
Robster: Haha!

They exit.

Lady: I’ll call you back, I have to order a pizza.

She hangs up and dials Cheezy Pizza.

Manager: Cheezy Pizza, pick-up or delivery?
Lady: Delivery.
Manager: What’s your order, ma’am.
Lady: My purse was just stolen.
Manager: We are zeroing in on your location now, ma’am. Would you like to order a pizza while you wait?
Lady: Do you have spinach as a topping?
Manager: We do.
Lady: And mozzarella? Like fresh mozzarella, not shredded.
Manager: Uh…yes! We do!
Lady: I’d like a small with spinach and mozzarella. Wait, how am I going to pay for this?
Manager: Don’t you have an account with us?
Lady: No, I’m very concerned about identity theft. So if you could hurry…
Manager: I suppose you could pay cash.
Lady They’ve probably stolen it by now. And the credit cards.
Manager: Oh. Well. We’re still sending someone to help, don’t worry about that. I just don’t think I can sell you a pizza.
Lady: This isn’t a very good system. I imagine most of your orders are for stolen purses.
Manager: Not really, ma’am, but I understand your concern.

Brooke enters.

Lady: Your delivery driver uniforms have changed dramatically.
Manager: No, she’s not there yet. No! That’s girl can’t help you! Don’t-

But the Lady hangs up on the Manager.

Brooke: I heard you talking on the phone about your purse being stolen. Who did it?
Lady: I’m not sure. It was a guy with a lobster on his shirt, and-
Brooke: And a girl wearing a graduation gown?
Lady: Yes.
Brooke: Robster and the Valedictorian! My arch-nemeses. They’re the reason I got into this business, you know. No one every listens or cares about your problems, even when your purse is stolen and you have to go through all the trouble of canceling your credit cards and finding new cash, and you never get that cash back, you know? But everyone is too caught up in their own problems to care about how your day is absolutely ruined.
Lady: Yes, and…
Brooke: But I will listen. I will…what’s that line?
Lady: The line?

Maggie enters, dressed as the Pizza Girl, carrying the Random Lady’s purse.

Brooke: The line from that movie. The bad one. Anyway, I’m going after the Valedictorian.
Lady: I’m going to complain to your manager.
Maggie: Excuse me, ma’am? Did you order a pizza?
Lady: Oh, yes!
Maggie: Hi, I’m the Pizza Girl. I’m new. Is this your purse?
Lady (taking the purse): Yes it is! Oh, you found it!
Maggie: I found the wallet as well, but unfortunately they took all the important things. Credit cards, cash. (takes a business card out of her pocket) Here, just in case you don’t have the numbers on-hand, here are all the customer service numbers for all the major credit card companies. Are you feeling alright?
Lady: Yes, I’m fine. Why? Do I look bad?
Maggie: No, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I can walk you to your destination if you need.
Lady: No, no, I – look, they didn’t take my car keys! I should be fine. Thank you so much.
Maggie: I know how you feel. I’ve been in…a similar situation before. You can feel free to call our phone number if you ever feel uncertain. I’ve only been doing this job for two days, and most of my jobs have been escorting people home.
Lady: I feel better already. Thank you so much (reads her nametag) Maggie.
Maggie: You have a good day, ma’am.
Lady: You too. Thank you!

Lady exits.

Brooke: Alright, Maggie! You and me, we’ll track down the Valedictorian and Robster together!
Maggie: What, why?
Brooke: We’re superheroes, that’s what we do! We’ll dole out some justice (punches the air)
Maggie: But justice has been served. She got her purse back.
Brooke: That’s not how justice works.
Maggie: She left happy. Maybe not happy, but you know what I mean.
Brooke: No, no, this needs to stop! This isn’t working. Good can’t just keep coming in and mopping up after Evil has done its work. Good is more than just “not evil.” Good isn’t just reactive. It should be proactive. It should stop Evil before it starts.
Maggie: Do you know where they went?
Brooke: No. That’s why we track them! We’ll start by looking in the place where you found the purse and then fan out from there.
Maggie: I…I wasn’t trained for this.
Brooke: Come on!
Maggie: I don’t see any reason why not.

We are taking full advantage of the space we have and they continue this conversation into the audience, looking around.

Maggie: So this is where I found the purse.

There is trash there.

Brooke: Ewwww.
Maggie: Yeah, he tried to hide it among the trash.
Brooke: Why did you look there?
Maggie: My purse was stolen when I was visiting Baltimore Harbor a few years back, we found it in a dumpster right next to the parking lot. I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to look here before checking in with the customer.
Brooke: The victim!
Maggie: The person. Who took the purse, by the way? Did you ask?
Brooke: The Valedictorian and Robster.
Maggie: Oh. Why were they stealing purses?
Brooke: It’s what they do!
Maggie: I thought they were into kidnapping?
Brooke: They’ve stolen my purse dozens of times.
Maggie: Really? Dozens?
Brooke: Yes!

She is not exaggerating.

Maggie: Wow.
Brooke: And it’s very disruptive, when your purse is always getting stolen! I even tried getting a new purse, but no!
Maggie: Did you ever try getting one of those wallets that just clips onto your belt?
Brooke: I’m sure they would have just taken it right off my belt.
Maggie: Or maybe gotten something that hides under your shirt.
Brooke: That would be paranoid.
Maggie: Okay. Where are we going, anyway? I feel like we’re just walking in circles.
Brooke: I don’t know.
Maggie: Alright. Well. There’s only two ways they could have gone, so, you go that way, and I’ll go this way. We’ll ask around, see if anyone has seen them. They’re a distinctive set, they’ll be noticed. We’ll meet back here in, say, 20 minutes? Or do you have your cell phone on you?

Brooke takes out her cell phone.

Maggie: Okay, awesome, let’s just exchange numbers then, and give each other a call if we find anything.

They exchange phones and start entering their information into each other’s contacts.

Brooke: This way we won’t have to double back.
Maggie: Exactly.

They give their phones back to each other.

Brooke: I’ll see you soon then.
Maggie: See you soon.

They separate.

Maggie (to herself): Okay, where’s a good place to get lunch?

Maggie exits.

Brooke walks among the audience, asking them if they’ve seen the Valedictorian and Robster. She then exits, based either on what they have to say or she exits of her own accord.

The Adventures of Pizza Boy and Maggie: Brooke was always friends with Maggie   Leave a comment

Maggie and a policewoman sit on a bench. Maggie is sipping a juice.

Policewoman: Do you feel better?

Maggie nods.

Policewoman: Who do you have picking you up?

Maggie shrugs.

Policewoman: I ask because it’s possible to have the police take you home. I know you’ve been through a lot today. Some people feel better when the police take them home. (no response) And if you need, we can check out you later tonight or tomorrow morning. We can stop by your house, or call your phone, just to make sure you’re feeling alright. (no response) Or you do you live in a dorm?

Maggie nods.

Policewoman: What are you studying?
Maggie: Linguistics.
Policewoman: Oh. That sounds…interesting?
Maggie: It is. It’s amazing how much our perception of the world is shaped by our language. We speak English. In English, you have to put a subject on something. You can say the egg was broken but we don’t speak like that most of the time. We say he broke the egg. In other languages, you can even say broken egg and have that be a complete thought. But not in English. We have to blame someone.
Policewoman: Huh.
Maggie: Yeah.

Emily and Brooke enter.

Emily and Brooke: Maggie!
Maggie: Emily! Brooke!
Brooke: We got here as quickly as we could.
Emily: Are you okay?
Maggie: Where’s Uncle Gary? I thought they had to call family. Where’s Uncle Gary?
Emily: We’re practically sisters. Sister from another mister.
Maggie: Sister from another hyster.

Maggie and Emily laugh. This is a long-running joke with them.

Emily: But your uncle couldn’t make it. He called me. I said I could get a ride.
Policewoman: If you’re not comfortable with getting a ride home from your friends, we can always drive you home.
Maggie: No, they’re fine.
Emily: Fine. Acceptable.
Maggie: Tolerable.
Emily: She doesn’t smell too horrible.
Maggie: Her face isn’t wretched.
Policewoman: Alright, I’ll leave you two to it. We’ll call you tomorrow morning, just to check on you.
Maggie: Thank you for waiting.
Policewoman: And put off doing paperwork for a bit? Thank you. Have a good night.
Maggie: Thank you.

Policewoman exits.

Emily: So no, seriously, Mags.
Maggie (Mags????): No.
Emily: Are you okay.
Maggie: Yes. I’m fine. They caught them red-handed. They can’t hurt me. They won’t hurt me.

Brooke and Emily frown at her.

Maggie: Why couldn’t Uncle Gary make it?
Brooke: She’s not telling us something.
Emily: She wouldn’t hide something from us, we love her and she loves us and all is well and good in the land of Maggie and Friends.
Brooke: We are very open with our friend Maggie.
Emily: She is very open with us.
Maggie: The robbers said they would come for me. One of them specifically said that.
Brooke: That is scary.
Emily: They’re behind bars though. They’ll stay that way.
Brooke: They could post bail.
Emily: Brooke!
Brooke: They’d probably get off on a technicality.
Emily: Someone’s been watching too many forensics shows.
Brooke: Or have a better lawyer than the DA.
Emily: Those are all formulaic and super terrible. I was reading just the other day how absolutely biased those are.
Brooke: You just can’t trust the law to do the right thing. It’s always an election somewhere.

Emily pulls Brooke aside. They have a wide, gesticulating conversation in which Brooke comes to the understanding that comforting Maggie is more important right now. They return to Maggie.

Brooke: Maggie, I love you and sincerely believe that no harm will come to you. Ever. Do you know what you need?

Maggie shakes her head.

THEY ALL SING MY CHICKENS. THEY SING A FRIENDSHIP SONG.

It actually doesn’t matter what song they sing – it should be a fun/overdramatic song that’s easy to rock out too, like “Bohemian Rhapsody” “Don’t Stop Believing” “Wake Me Up Inside” and the like. Or “Let It Go” since this is supposedly a play for kids, I don’t know. The three actresses should just totally rock out and have fun singing this song and maybe the audience should be encouraged to sing along too because because because.

Posted February 9, 2015 by agentksilver in writing

Tagged with , , , ,

It turns out that character development isn’t as much fun as supervillainy   1 comment

Valedictorian’s lab. Brooke enters. Rob is sitting to the side, playing a game on his phone or texting or something. Valedictorian is doing some sort of chemistry thing. She pours a thing into a thing. A change of some sort.

Valedictorian: Aha, yes, but.

She pours a thing into another thing. A different reaction.

Valedictorian: Are you seeing this?
Rob (not even looking): Yes.

Brooke clears her throat.

Valedictorian: Who dares disturb my research?
Brooke: I am known as Prosperina, Queen of the Dead.
Valedictorian: Yes, the Dead Queen.
Brooke: Prosperina!
Valedictorian: What do you want?
Brooke: I have a proposal. A way to eliminate Pizza Girl.
Valedictorian: You have my attention.
Brooke: Think. What is her greatest weakness?

Valedictorian looks at Rob, who is still playing on his phone.

Valedictorian: Well she has a nicer car than Pizza Boy.
Brooke: Technology! She can’t handle technology. It’s how you eliminated Pizza Boy.
Valedictorian: She can’t be found. She can’t be lured. She’s too strong to be taken now. What you’re suggesting is impossible.
Brooke: She can be. With the right bait.
Valedictorian: She cannot be lured. We have tried. We…failed.
Brooke: She cares nothing for the reporter. You have to take Emily instead.
Valedictorian: Emily?
Brooke: Her best friend, Emily. It is an especially good time. They recently had a fight. Their feelings for each other are sore. Mag…Pizza Girl won’t be in her right mind.
Valedictorian: Who is this Emily? What is she like?
Brooke: She reads comic books and hangs out on tumblr all the time. She’s a silly girl.
Valedictorian: Who is her favorite hero?
Brooke: Heat Shield.
Valedictorian: There’s a movie coming out with her soon!
Brooke: Yes, but they’re having trouble finding a director for the film. I don’t think it will be any good.
Valedictorian: But there is a movie! That’s the important thing!
Brooke: So the plan is, I will lure Emily to you, and you will use technology to defeat Pizza Girl, and then there will be only one hero in this town!
Valedictorian: I am not your minion. Dead Queen.
Brooke: I am Prosperina!
Valedictorian: You want to kidnap someone? That sounds like awfully villainous.
Brooke: I’m not a villain. I just can’t get what I want.
Valedictorian: Neither can I. I can’t get any university funding for my experiments. So I have to scrabble and scrap to support my research.
Brooke: I just want everything to be safe. I just don’t want there to be bad guys anymore.
Valedictorian: And you would do anything to do it.
Brooke: Yes.

Valedictorian opens a lockbox and pulls some cash out from it. She begins throwing the cash at Brooke.

Valedictorian: Here’s what it is! Here are your morals! Here are your ethics! Here’s what hurt you! Here’s all you really want! Here’s what we took from you! Here’s what the bad guys want! Take it! That’s all you want!
Brooke: No! Stop it! Stop it! I don’t want it! I just want Pizza Girl gone! I want it to be my fault!
Valedictorian: Well it won’t be! I am not here to do your bidding! Get your own minion, you useless Dead Peasant!

Prosperina runs offstage, crying. Valedictorian begins picking up the cash she threw on the ground.

Valedictorian: Who is this Emily, anyway?
Rob (reading from his phone): She’s a student at Greensboro University.
Valedictorian: Of course she is.
Rob: She reblogged a lot of articles by the reporter Kurt Gallagher. And here’s a picture of them.

He shows Valedictorian, who peers at the phone.

Valedictorian: Then I think we have to find this Kurt Gallagher again to learn more.