So Buzzfeed published a video describing the best microwave desserts. I watched the video, but I wasn’t a fan of any of the recipes. I can’t eat chocolate and I didn’t feel like going to the store and buying cake mix. Weren’t there cakes that I could make in the microwave without buying a mix? One that I could make from ingredients I already had at home? Or even better, could I make cinnamon rolls in the microwave?

My initial results weren’t strong. I found this microwave recipe that turned out to be “take a premade cinnamon roll out of the can and cook it for a minute”, boring and costs money. Blech. Finally I found this recipe of my dreams.

2 tbsp applesauce
1 tbsp vegetable oil
1 tbsp buttermilk
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup + 1 tbsp all-purpose flour
2 1/2 tbsp brown sugar
3/4 tbsp cinnamon
1 dash ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 dash salt

First step: gather all of your ingredients.

In the background there you can see my mother, hard at work making a dinner that is simultaneously delicious, filling, and healthy. Meanwhile, I was making a cake in a microwave.

Next step, and this is a super complicated step: combine all of those above ingredients into a bowl and then stir until uniformly smooth.

You may have noticed that in the picture above there is some vinegar, which is not included in the recipe. I don’t actually keep buttermilk on-hand, so I had to make my own.

Buttermilk

1 tbsp whatever milk you have on hand
1 drop of vinegar

Stir a bit if you want, let it sit for about five minutes, then add the rest of your ingredients on top of that. (I did not fill that 1/8 tsp all the way, and even then I only poured about half of that into the milk, so it was probably more than a drop. Still, it was a tiny amount of vinegar and I still managed to just use ingredients I already have)

Anyway, once your dough is consistently smooth, microwave your mug o’ delish for about a minute on full power. Keep adding fifteen-second increments until your cake is cooked. My cake took a minute and a half altogether.

Obviously this recipe would not be complete without icing. The recipe the website recommended had cream cheese (which we don’t keep on-hand, oddly). However, that microwave-canned-cinnamon-rolls had a simple solution for the lazy cheap people among us.

1/2 cup or so of powdered sugar
1 tbsp regular tap water

Combine until it looks like icing.

So I put the icing on the cake like the recipe said, but honestly? Just cut a portion with your fork and dip it into the icing. Every bite gets the right amount of icing, every time.

So it was one of the best things I had ever eaten in my entire life ever. Also it was 659 calories. But who’s counting?

Not me, my friends. Not me.